Five Lies
#5:
Pringles are not any more intrinsically 'fun' than any other snack food. In
fact, they are the saddest of snacks, being made from a paste formed from the
dust of loneliness and the tears of heartbreak, fried in a mixture of rejection
and regret.
#4:
The paints which every paint manufacturer make that claim to cover completely
in one coat, needless to say, don't. What are you going to do though? Take your
bedroom wall to the shop? They've got you cold
#3:
The cheque, as the person you are telling this to knows full well, is never,
ever in the post
#2:
'Serves two' provided, of course, that the two in question are an anorexic and
a very small child who has just eaten a large meal.
#1:
The epic of Gilgamesh is the earliest story in human history. Thought to date
from c2150 BC, it is almost inconceivably ancient.
Although
I haven't read it myself, it's a reasonable assumption that at some point
someone male says to someone female (in ancient Sumerian, of course) 'It's OK,
we can just cuddle'
And
you know what? He didn't respect her in the morning, either.
